Happy with new medical 'hub'

August 4, 2009

Woke up pretty fuzzy this morning. Mom drove me to the cardiologist's office and my blood pressure was 88/60. That might explain it. Hard to wake up very well when the blood isn't pumping anywhere very fast. Apparently the bistolic medicine I am on to control the PSVT can lower your blood pressure below where they want it so we'll see what the doc says when he finds out. All I knew is that my low blood pressure was resolved when I went to the checkout and they told me I owed them $30 for a nurse's aid taking my blood pressure. Goodness Grief, I could have taken it at home and called it in for that. Won't be doing that anymore, they can just blend that check in with the other five thousand, three hundred twenty two doctors visits I have coming up in the next year.

Mom and I sat at McDonald's this morning as I had another primary care doctor's visit after my cardiologist (please may I have your money) visit. She really helped me clarify why I was going to see her as I am getting fairly confused about why I'm even seeing a primary care person with all the other visits. I wanted to back out, but figured that if the head of cardiology personally recommended her as his own doctor, then she must be pretty good and I needed to keep the appintment. So I made a list, most of which was to discuss the lack of trust my other doctors have had in me, which made me not trust them. It's a lack of trusting what I say and not believing it is anything other than stress, depression, anxiety, or some other disorder of the female condition aka in my head or a physical manifestation of what's in my head. It also included not wanting to take Zoloft because I'm not depressed. I've had my last (read former) three primary doctors try to push anti-anxiety or depression medication down my throat when, quite frankly, I'm the happiest I've ever been IN SPITE of feeling like a crap sandwich. And there I was in the hospital discussing life insurance and my will with my husband because I really thought I was going to die and I was still concerned that I had missed knee hair the last time I shaved and that I hadn't been able to get the house organized before I left the mess to Chip. Doesn't really sound like a depressed person to me. Obsessive yes, depressed NO.

Anyways, Mom and I go into my new doctor's office and there I am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to meet someone who was going to be my new medical hub. Someone who would look at everything all the specialists were saying and what I was saying and would help me put the pieces of the puzzle together or point me in the direction I needed to go next in a helpful way. And someone I was ready to chew up and spit out if they acted like my former docs. And in walks a physicians assistant. With the same name as the doctor I was supposed to have. That my cardiologist recommended. And I about gave up before we even started because I figured that if a doctor wouldn't take me seriously and couldn't figure any of this out, then how could a PA. Then she spoke. And asked questions. And took me back years into my history. And she actually read my medical records. And she listened. And she HEARD me. And before I knew it I was in love with my new medical 'hub', someone I am going to trust to walk with me through all this confusing and frustrating mess. Someone who was going to actually confer with my endocrinologist and was going to really look through all my records outside of our appointment. Sigh, life is good again.

Ms. Finnegan thinks there is something going on besides my thyroid, even if it does end up being the medullary thyroid cancer. She started discussing my adrenal function, which is something I've been pointedly asking about since the cortisol test to test my adrenal glands flipped the crisis switch and made me chatter like a chipmunk for 40 hours. She said my reaction was highly abnormal and makes her think I do need to leave the local Wilmington area in search of another specialist who knows much more about rare and unusual adrenal or other endocrine type disfunctions. She said my endocrinologist is really great and thinks I need to heed his call to find someone more knowledgeable about things past diabetes and thyroid problems. She is going to call Dr. Ley to discuss this and my test/biopsy results before my next appointment with her on the 18th. THAT surprised me, too. She pulled out the calendar to see when the biopsy would be, and planned to discuss all this with the doc and have a direction ready to discuss by my appt. She has shared patients with Dr. Ley before so has a good working relationship with him, and believes that sending me up to UNC (University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill) will probably be the best answer.

So knock me over with a leaf. I didn't have to lecture or get mad or anything...and all those emotions I had stored up and ready to dump on somebody for all the other doctors that treated me so poorly...I finally had the nerve to tell someone to knock it off in a not so subtle way...and she was incredibly smart and with it. Well, ok. I can handle that! The human grenade is diffused and the pin put back in. Don't you love it when people let you be nice.

As for the last few days since my last post, I've been on the upswing. I cleaned up our master bed and bath yesterday and while it made me very tired, I was equally as proud I managed to do something productive. It's been 3 weeks since the last time I was able to do that. I still have chest pain every day, but it's just a fraction of what it has been. No nitroglycerin needed thank goodness. And I've only had 3 episodes of the PSVT since last Sunday. The last 2 have been minor. Someone asked me what they felt like and it's hard to explain. But picture that your heart is an eggplant on a thick stem. Twist the eggplant so that the front is now in the back. That's what my heart feels like. That somebody has grabbed it and twisted it and I can feel the stem twist and the front is now in the back. And it's done while messing with a super fast elevator so the heart is plunging up and down. Now add that it's hard to breathe, you are sweating, and your chest and arm hurts. And they wonder why I get upset when it happens. Really.

Anyhoo, enough for now. Time for a nap. Yesterday and this morning tuckered me out. Until next time...